Consecration

“A cunning part of his strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion that we cannot control.” –Elder Lynn G. Robbins

It seems like such an easy thing to say, “you are making me so upset!” It is much more difficult to accept that our emotions belong to us, and that we are just as responsible for our own emotions as we are the actions that sometimes follow them. We choose to be happy. We choose to be mad. We choose to be heartbroken. Our emotions are choices that we make!

In marriage, this self-owning of our emotions is especially important. Because no marriage, or no spouse will ever be perfect, this practice takes effort. Sometimes a lot of effort! This sacrifice of our natural-man tendency to blame another for our emotions is part of consecrating ourselves and our marriage unto the Lord.

“Those who will bear whatever is necessary in order to honor their covenants will be made glorious. They will experience eternal joy. They are, after all, those who have honored eternal things above temporal things.” – Dr. H. Wallace Goddard

We are promised that if we will do whatever it takes to honor our covenants, much better things will await us. Part of those covenants include mastering our emotions. When considering the blessings that are in the future for the righteous, should it really be hard for us to control these emotions?

This idea crossed my mind a few times this week when I was running different errands with my children. Without fail, my son will always ask for some sort of treat at the grocery store. Actually, he will usually ask for several different treats. Once in a while, I will say “yes.” However, most of the time, I will say “no.” Most of the time he expects a “no,” so he just moves on and looks up the isle for the next treat to ask for. However, if my son is tired, or even  a little hungry, the “no,” stirs up some whining. I remind him that we don’t always say yes to treats, and that he needs to control his reactions so that maybe next time it can happen.

As a parent, I want my young son to learn to control his own actions, and to be responsible for being happy even if he doesn’t get what he wants. He is a child and is learning to do this! So at what point do I expect less from myself, a grown-up, in my marriage? Why is my boy expected to control a temper, when sometimes I barely am managing to keep it together? It is a choice. And it is a choice that even young children are taught to make.

Part of giving everything I have to the Lord, and to my marriage includes my choice to be angry, to feel hurt or offended, and so many more destructive emotions that are personal choices. I love the Lord more than myself, so I give up my need to react in anger. I love my spouse more than myself, so I practice feeling positive emotions.