Gospel Saves Marriages

I am a member of a phone app for pregnant moms. Once in a while, when I have a free moment, I look over the questions of some of the first-time moms that have some concerns and try to help be sharing my experience with my own 5 pregnancies. Usually the questions have to do with weird bodily issues or labor, but once in a while a relationship issue will pop up.

I am always astounded by the replies that these poor, scared women receive in answer to their issues. I have seen affairs, addictions and pornography encouraged for husbands, always with patience and understanding encouraged for the wives. I have seen divorces encouraged, even applauded.

It is during these times that I know why I check this app every few days. A scared, weary mom does not need those influences! I remind her to pray, to speak to a religious leader, and to have a loving discussion with her spouse. Surely there are better ways to help a couple stay together?

In reading Drawing Heaven into Your MARRIAGE, by Dr. H. Wallace Goddard, I found this:

“The key to a satisfying marriage is to be found in living the principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. There is no other place to find the solution.”

Man’s ideas of what will make a marital relationship better will never begin to heal a couple in the way that the Gospel does. There are experts preaching communication techniques, diagnosing control issues and a myriad of other ways to put band-aids on problems. There are also “experts,” who have answers ranging from separation, infidelity, retaliation, inducing jealousy and breaking commandments for fixing problems in marriage. Isn’t this all counterproductive?

 From the same book,

“We will only succeed at marriage as we use the eternal gospel principles to become more of what God has invited us to become….Those truly succeeding at marriage are those who are applying the Gospel of Jesus Christ in their lives.”

A successful marriage is one whose foundation is built on the Lord. When reading these quotes this week, I had never really considered that marriages not built there were not succeeding. I know plenty of people that seem to be happily married that are not members of the church.

The more that I ponder that idea, I realize that “marriage” is what I had been confusing. The world will tell us that a marriage is basically contractual agreement that two people are a committed lifelong couple. However, we know that the Lord’s commandment of marriage concerns a much higher ideal for his children. He planned for His covenant keeping children to be sealed for life on this earth, as well as for eternity. He intended for couples to become one together as they looked to Him for guidance and instruction. He hoped for joy in marriage, for couples that learn and pray together, for commandments to be obeyed and covenants to be kept. That type of marriage does not come from a simple contractual agreement.

There will be times, even outside of a phone app, where we, as members of the church, are questioned about marital problems. Maybe a newlywed couple is searching for advice after their first argument and asks what they can do? Or maybe a deeply troubled marriage is asking for help as a last resort. What do we say?

Our answers then should reflect our knowledge of what marriage is supposed to be. We turn them to the Lord. We tell them to pray. Well tell them to beg the Lord for answers, and to listen for the ones he tries to give. We tell them to have faith. We invite them to repent if they need to. And maybe, we even tell them to talk with a Bishop.

I am grateful for a loving Father who instituted a way for couples and families to be together forever. I am grateful for a covenant keeping spouse who makes me a better person everyday. I am so grateful for repentance, and that there is a plan and a way for every couple to attain success. And I am grateful for prayer, and for the peace and comfort that it can bring in even the most troubling situations.